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Click to read Prologue and learn more about Shazza and her family.

Shazza arrives in StrangerVille and rents a nice little trailer.

“Ah! Home sweet home! Wish Farrah and Pixie were here to see!”

She heads over to the curio stand and chats with Erwin. “Oh, yeah, plenty of weird shit going down here. Go check the archives at the library. That’ll be $25 for the pink lava lamp and the book.”

On her way to the library, Shazza encounters some more people. “They must be Pastafarians, like Erwin!” she says to herself.
“Excuse me, can you tell me where the library is? I was hoping to get some aerial photos of the area, and maybe some old newspaper clippings.”

The woman lunges toward Shazza. “Photos! Clippings?? Don’t you know you’re in danger??”

“Huh?” Shazza gasps, taken aback.

The woman’s voice rises in hysteria. “They’re everywhere, I tell you! Everywhere! They’ll swallow your soul!”

“What, over there?” Shazza starts to get really nervous.

“No, you idiot!” the woman growls. “They’re EVERYWHERE!!”

Shazza does not take kindly to being called an idiot, especially since she is now irrationally scared.

“No, no, ladies, listen!” a man interjects. “They come with ray guns that look like blow driers! You’ll never even notice! Stay away from hair salons!!”

“Wha…..?” Shazza gurgles.

Shazza thinks, “What would Pixie do, what would Pixie do ……”

“Waaah, I don’t know what Pixie would do, I wish she was here!” Shazza thinks. “Okay … here goes …….”

Shazza clears her throat. “Look, you guys! I don’t know WHAT you are tripping on ….”

“Things swallowing souls, blow dryer ray guns, but …..”

The woman interrupts, shouting, “Tell it, sister!! Tell it!!”

“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH I CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE!!”

Everyone stands there in awkward silence for a minute.

The man shrugs. “Uh …. dude, we were only trying to help ….”

Shazza frowns. “Yeah, well … whatever.”

“So is that the library over there?” Shazza asks quickly.

“Yeah,” the guy answers.

“Okay, bye.”

Shazza hits the stacks with relief.

She also talks to a librarian. “Oh, yes. Plants. I’m surprised you haven’t seen them yet.”

And then she hits the local bar, where she gets an actual clue from one of the military types. “Oh, yes. Don’t worry at ALL about the SECRET LAB IN THE CRATER.”

Shazza heads out and finds the secret lab in the crater.

It’s been abandoned. She digs through, looking for clues.

And digs some more.

Her hacking skills aren’t up to getting into the computers. She’s either going to have to brush up, or find someone to help her. It’s late, so she goes on home.

Next morning, Shazza spies out the window a woman she saw on the street yesterday. However, the woman is walking very strangely. Shazza throws on some clothes and follows her.

She ends up in a very nice neighborhood overlooking the valley. Shazza’s pretty sure this is the house the woman went into. “Uh, hi, my name is Shazza. Did you see a blonde woman about my height, walking really weird-like? I was kind of worried about her.”

The guy, Mark, shrugs. “Naw, sorry. I didn’t see anyone. I was just trying to get some inspiration from nature, you know?”

“Uh … yeah. Well, thanks.”

Shazza continues on down the street and spots a strange plant that matches the one the librarian described to her. She runs over to take a picture.

“Wonder if the people at this house know anything about it?” She knocks at the door, but alas, no one is home.

Shazza continues to walk down the street when she sees a man walking strangely, just like the woman she saw earlier.

“Uh … hi, there, Mister. Mister?”
“GURGLE GLURGLE GLUG.”

“Anyone home?”

“GLUG GLUB BLUB.”

“Mister?”

“BOO!”

“Heh heh …..” Shazza laughs nervously. “Got me! Um … So are you okay? I’m Shazza, by the way.”

The man twists his head at an odd angle and gurgles, “EMBRACE THE MOTHER SHE WILL BRING YOU PEACE.” At least, that’s what it kind of sounded like. It was hard to understand.

Shazza paused a moment. “Uh … yeah.”

Shazza thinks, “What would Pixie do what would Pixie do …..”

“Maybe I can get him to snap out of it …… one …… two ……”

“GLOOOPY,” the man gurgles, blocking Shazza’s slap.

“Ow!!! Ow ow ow ow ow stop it!!!!”

“BLUB.”

Shazza tries to think of what Pixie would yell, but all she can come up with is, “DAG NAB IT, YOU … YOU …. FREAKY COWBOY MAN!!!”

“I think I’ll just be going now …..” Shazza tries to walk off with some kind of dignity intact, trying not to shake as she passes the freaky cowboy man.

After several yards, she turns and looks back to make sure he’s not following. Nope. He’s lurching along the way he was before.

“I need to get out of this place,” she decides. “I’m going to call my sisters and have them meet me at the Humor and Hijinks Festival.”

Click to continue to Chapter 2. Humor and Hijinks